Would be nice to call an URL within the Notifications app

This is why the better approach is to use an app that reports about devices that are inactive. There are a few excellent ones that will give a single report once a day about all of your inactive devices. I like @ericm's Device Monitor, but [RELEASE] Device Activity Check - Get notifications for "inactive" devices and [RELEASE] Device Watchdog are also nice.

(some of those can report on battery level, too, if you want, but activity is better IMHO)