So this morning I had to go Home Depot as certain people of my age are want to do on a Saturday morning. As I am leaving said destination in my truck laden with a vast bounty of DIY materials some of which are way too expensive because of the supply lines, my phone gets an urgent Pushover message using a siren sound. This is a rare thing on old @rlithgow1's phone and it certainly threw my heart for a loop. It means potential catastrophe. The message notified me that the water sensor in the main bathroom on the second floor had been set off. Given the position of said sensor, my fear was half the bathroom had now flooded. I immediately pull over (was still in parking lot of the Depot of Home) and called my spouse in a panic. Fortunately I married smart and she ran for the bathroom at the first note from her phone. It turns out that my youngest spawn is a shite. I had expected something like flooding the sink or what have you... No... The progeny that was created by bad seed decided it would be fun to take his waterpic and spray under the sink just to see what it would do. He then freaked out when my wife quick to wit and to guilt said he turned off all the water to the city by doing that. He was confused and tried to turn on the sink and then the tub, then ran to the master bedroom and was met with similar results. When confronted with the fact that there was no water in the city because of him, he started to bawl his eyes out thinking about the trouble he was going to get in with the police. My wife allowed him to stew before explaining it was just the house and that I was on my way home and not happy. This proceeded to make him bawl more as he is much more afraid of me than he is of the police. Yeah I made a show of turning the water back on when I got home making noise in the basement him not realizing it was simply a tile on my phone to turn the water back on. I think in the end it will be a few months before he tries to pull that shite again... Anyone wanna adopt a 5 year old?
Poor child is probably scarred for life!
And, no.
We're trying!
Hey - if your better half hadn't corrected him, you'd end up raising a jagoff. And you definitely don't want that, do you?!!
I have a similar story for Glass break sensors (in Vivint, not Hubitat). We foster rescue dogs. A few months ago, we had a senior Fospice (foster-hospice) dog. He slept in our office at night. Often, he would get to whining and wailing and really carrying on. One night he was really getting worked up around 0330 in the morning when the alarm went off. I shot bolt upright in the bed, quasi panicked for a second, then set out to find out what set it off. Turns out it was just him howling!! That same glass sensor has been tripped twice since then. Once for a glass that broke in the kitchen, around the corner from the office, and another time when I dropped a tower fan in the office at around midnight. needless to say, my double secret probation was extended.
Haven't heard jagoff since my days living in Penn Hills. You must be from the Burgh!
Sounds like a great kid with an inquisitive mind and ability to design and execute experiments to explore the world around him.
Do I want him? Nope...been there, done that. 
My advice? Be nice to him if you want your diapers changed promptly when you're in your late golden years. 
I actually live in the burgh...lol
LOL, that is a new one!!!!
Mean, and effective. I like it.
I loved when my 2 boys were that age... But I'll pass on your offer, as I've already done that tour of duty. 
The struggle is real.
Now imagine an evil so powerful, it literally split one human into two. And they’ve been f’ing with us since they were in the womb.
That’s what raising twin boys is like.
I doubt I’ll even make it to Rick’s age.
Fire stations are safe to return kids back to the manufacturer. Kinda like Kohls is a return space for Amazon.
That’s convenient, since fire stations can also take discharged fire extinguishers that someone pulled the pin on, then someone else squeezed the handle (see the theme here? Always double trouble 
).
Why?
It'a always someone's turn. . . been there already. Tag - you're it! 
When I retired to the boonies, I always admired a certain farm house at a certain turn in the road on the way to town. One day I turned the bend to see the large picture window boarded up with an 8x4 sheet of plywood, and spray painted on it was "Teenager for Sale. Cheap!"
It's an adventure [g].
...bob t
