Check out my thread from a while ago - a lot of good advice there.
Personally, I've compromised on my desire to have everything centrally controlled in favor of "purpose built" products/systems, favoring local control where possible. Google dropping Nest API was the nail in the coffin for going with an Ecobee4, which I have been extremely happy with -- perhaps because I'm choosing to let the thermostat operate on its own and not through HE. Ecobee was already the better themostat, ignoring any cloud issues.
I do have eight nest protects, so this news is still a bummer because I had them integrated with HSM. I believe that was still dependent on the cloud, so not like it could be called dependable. I'll probably do the same automation (turning on lights) through Google Assistant.
For cameras, I ended up with a Ubiquiti Cloud Key Gen 2 Plus and a couple of cameras for the time being. 100% local but with (very fast) cloud access. I've been very happy with it, a big leap up in performance and likely privacy over the Arlo camera that it replaced. However, it does have shortfalls (currently no setting to receive notifications only during certain times), and I'm not sure it's worth the cost unless you buy other Unifi network gear to take advantage of the controller.