Thanks @NoWon. Well not only do Xiaomi devices fall off the mesh, they take a sh!t on it, before they go. Thanks to the brainiac @markus, who has been discovering all kinds of things, amongst those the Xiaomi issue.
Something about a broadcast packet , there are a few threads.
Some changes coming that should help. I have removed all but 2 Xiaomi devices, to try to get to the bottom of this. Seems only my Hue motion are affected, and I also suspect the same core issue with the "great peanut panic" saga.
PS wifi one- zigbee25=no interference, spectrum clear around 25. For the ghosts, I'm not moving from 2.2.0.126 (has the auto add ghost feature-and helped greatly in solving this)