It sounds like you're having slowness problems that shouldn't be happening. My dashboard just comes up immediately. My tablets sometimes take a couple seconds to refresh the layout. Maybe contact support, and take a look at the past logs. Also, don't keep all devices accessible to the dashboard if they aren't used by it (in dashboard set-up there's an option for what devices to include).
Also, I found that I'm pretty happy with the built-in dashboard (lots of people are using other things like SharpTools), but I have different dashboards for different devices. I have a phone dashboard designed for portrait orientation that works fine on my Galaxy S10e and my wife's Galaxy Note 9, and a different set of dashboards designed for my tablets in landscape orientation. I don't use the auto-fit, but it takes some fiddling to get the layout right. Try looking through the (long) dashboard thread to see what various people have done with them:
This forum is great for figuring out how to do things in the dashboard layout. Lots of helpful people!
Once you have a link to the cloud dashboard with the layout designed for your phones, you should be able to use that anywhere. That way your wife wouldn't need to figure out what dashboard to use (cloud is a bit slower by default but I don't think it's terrible). Try this: open the link to the dashboard in Chrome on your Android phone, then go to the three dots menu and choose "Add to home." At that point you basically have a custom app, with whatever dashboard tiles you chose (and only those tiles), arranged as you designed it. It even defaults to the Hubitat icon on your home screen. (Probably something like that available for iPhones/Safari but I use mine as little as possible because I hate it.)
If you put together a nice dashboard, you'll find the WAF to be quite high. My wife thinks this stuff is stupid, and we should just use old fashioned light switches (she was actually yelling at me when I installed our GE/Jasco Z-wave switches), but quickly found it was useful to be able to shut off the flood lights from our bed when they were accidentally left on. It took a few days, but I'd bet she'd yell at me if I started ripping them out, now.