wow
i tried the solution to pair again, and poof it is available in the dim controller now..
im starting to think i need to spend more (try to save less:) for hardware / check better for compatibility with hubitat... in general get away from the cheap tuya stuff if you just want it to work.
I successfully reproduced the flooding of ZDO Node Descriptor Requests caused by certain devices after an 'incomplete' Zigbee pairing process.... And now this custom driver successfully simulates the ZDO 0x8002 response that the Hubitat platform is expected to send as a system-level answer :