I have to assume you've setup a "Virtual Presence plus switch" device in Hubitat and shared that to Apple Homekit. You've then created Apple Automations to "copy" Apple's presence into the Switch portion of that device. You don't say any of that but because of "RM" I've got to assume you made it that far.
If Not, let's start there. Create two virtual devices, one for you, one for the wife. Both use the built-in "Virtual Presence with Switch" device type. In the Hubitat Homekit Integration, select the two devices.
For your wife, you must start by Inviting her device to also manage the Home.
On your Apple device, tap Automations in the Home App. Tap the + and Add Automation. Tap "People Arrive" Tap the "i" next to "Anyone Arrives" and pick just yourself. Tap Next. Now select the Virtual Presence device you created for yourself and be certain the switch is showing ON. (It'll need to be OFF in the next automation you create.)
Do the whole thing over again for "People Depart". That should work for YOU.
Do the whole thing over again, twice, using your wife's ID.
So.. the "trick" is to Invite (and accept) everyone who's presence you are going to track. Apple requires that each person approve, for obvious privacy issues. You know you have it right when you go to create that first Automation, and you have a list of people to select from.
Remember that you're tracking a device. My family have iPads and iPhones, I have to be sure I pick their iPhone to track during the invite process.
