Well. I did it. I won the battle and hopefully the war.
My wife has always been pretty cool with my home automation stuff but I'll be honest, finding a "pretty" and functional front end for it has been... challenging. We have flopped back and forth between a lot of things and while I have adapted to each change she doesn't... We had pretty good luck with homebridge and the hubitat plugin but it kinda slows down my hub for some reason (or maybe it's just me)
Now I have my Dashboard set up in a way that she actually likes using! Set up her phone with some notifications for the doors and the laundry buttons.
I just needed to share this with some people who might know and understand the struggle.