@proffalken I agree with @csteele,
Welcome Frodo.
I came from Smarthings to Hubitat via a dabbling with openHAB. When I got to Hubitat I thought I had found Shangri-La. It tuns out it was only a bus stop on the way to the multiverse. I now have HE, Hue, and HomeKit via Homebridge. I now realize this also is only a pause on my home automation journey.
No system is going to be the best at everything, even the Control4 and Crestrons of the world. They have more customized support you pay for, so they can get closer. For those of us who do this in the DIY word do so because we enjoy the challenge of solving the grand home automation puzzle and appreciate the feeling of success when we do.
I live and work in the enterprise computing world, so I appreciate the nirvana that fully integrated systems (e.g., PeopleSoft, SAP) theoretically should provide, and the reality of the complexity and fragility best of breed systems create in trying to improve on the fully integrated promise. The same challenge applies to home automation.
The goal of being able to use one hub (core system) to support all possible devices using all possible technologies is noble. The problem is it isn't practical with the diversity of technologies available and business plans of the device manufacturers. Every system is going to be best at something that another either doesn't support or is only mediocre at supporting.
In the end we are doing what engineers do for projects everyday: finding the most optimal solution for the project scope with the associated constraints. Each time we want to add a feature to our existing system we reevaluate what we have already put in place based on the new scope and new constraints. Some times this necessitates a change to the fundamental architecture.
I didn't setup Homebridge and HomeKit because I wanted to. It adds complexity and a it more fragility to the system as a whole. I did it because there were products I wanted to include in my system that only talk HomeKit or IFTTT. I have made a fundamental tenet of my architecture a requirement that all devices will be controlled locally. That eliminates IFTTT out of the gate. Is IFTTT a undesirable product? No, it just didn't fit my architectural direction.
So, since Hubitat doesn't support HomeKit natively, do I bemoan my choice to use Hubitat as my central controller (I use Hubitat apps for all my logic, though someday I may decide to add NR.)? No, it just evokes other architectural choices.
Another aspect of my architectural choice to keep Hubitat as the center of my home automation universe is the superb user community and the active interaction between the staff and customers through the community. That is worth gold. Open Source is altruistic in it's proposal. Unfortunately, when I have a problem I need support now, not when the guy who knows how the 1s and 0s of the protocol work gets back from vacation, over being ill, has time at work, etc. Don't misconstrue my statement about Open Source. It is great, but I evaluate the risk and make a conscious choice to be prepared for extra challenges if they arise. I don't expect problems, but I have to think of my customer, my spouse. When something doesn't work, she doesn't really care that it is Open Source and probably saved us money. She wants it to work. My wife is actually VERY understanding of my home automation obsession, but she has her limits.
Sorry about my rant. I'll get off my soapbox.
You have instigated a very good and worthy discussion about architecture, expectations, and what happens over the life of a system. I hope our responses are taken as an effort to help you think through the challenges you are facing, and to understand this is a normal progression in the development of a system. We have all been there, not wanting to make a fundamental change to our architecture and wishing we could find "the One Ring"
"One ring to rule them all,
one ring to find them,
One ring to bring them all
and in the darkness bind them. "
J. R. R. Tolkien